Running classes is an interesting lesson for me. From the beginning my goal for having classes was to further my own training. It was never a selfless act of giving or sharing. And because of that goal, I work on things in class that I want to learn.
Seems selfish. But what I have discovered is that is really all that can be done. I believe you can't really teach Bujinkan. It can be felt, experienced, and lived. But each student must discover it for themselves. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own training.
One Friday night at Hombu, Hatsumi Sensei suggested that teachers should be discovering as they teach, learning and teaching at the same time. I am pretty sure that's what he has done all these years. It certainly shows in the freshness and vitality he brings to every class.
In that same class, Soke also said that if we train with him, we are walking beside and in parallel with him. If not we fall into a hole. That is a path of discovery. The hole is the ego and the belief that you have accomplished something.
So I don't feel guilty about not teaching the students who train with me. Instead I invite them to join me on the journey. The gift of discovery is one of the most selfless things Soke has given us. I hope I can be that example for someone else someday.
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