Are Ninjas on Santa's Naughty or Nice List?

Santa Claus in 浦和 Urawa, photo Michael Glenn

Dear Santa,

I've been a good Ninja. I don’t bite my nails. I won't ask you for much, but I just want to see if these letters work. Some other Ninjas are getting smarter people to write their letters, but I write my own.

This year I trained really hard, so

I want a grappling hook and a ninja-to and an axe but my mother said that I have to stop throwing rocks and fighting.

Please bring us a new Hombu Dojo, or keep the old one standing.

I would like a throwing star and some nice things to eat. I am very fond of pie.

Please bring a smoke bomb. Uncle Wade said that he would make one but he has not done it yet and I don't believe he will

I want a bank that you can't open so mama won't spend my money.

AND

I was very good and went to train in Japan three times this year, so

Please don't put my axe in my stocking for you might stretch it.

Bring my little brother Andrew something or else he'll punch my cat's eyes out.

Give some Christmas spirit to all of the Bujinkan, so we all can be a great family around the world.

I want you to bring me a sword that won't break when my brother Andrew throws it. You needn't bring Andrew anything. He's bad.

AND

I also completed all of my Ninja missions this year

I have a cat named "Zachy." Please put some chipped beef and waffles in his stocking for he is a good cat.

Please show me how to travel through chimneys so i can visit and train with my Bujinkan friends all over the world.

For Xmas I want a shikomi, a big red set of yoroi, and some boxing gloves so I can whip Andrew.

Please bring me a few of Soke's videos, and a new baby sister--one that don't squall and make a fuss all the time.

By the way, our fire place is all stopped up. Just ring the bell and I will let you in and show you where the stockings are.

These are some of the things I want, too many to list them all. PM me and I can tell you the rest. Don’t pay any attention to those other letters I wrote you.

That is all. Please don't bring us another baby brother.

Your friend,

Michael

inspired by and plagiarized from vintage Christmas letters on @TweetsofOld

Comments

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